Let's face it. I tend to steer clear of hot takes. Mostly because I don't see them, read about them, or even know they exist. Call me naive, but I'm just a super busy mama who has chosen to focus her thoughts on the things she can control while respecting that we are all different and may not dissociate in the same ways.
The one thing I know for sure, though, is how to treat people with kindness and understanding. I pride myself on being able to see two sides to a coin, no matter if I agree with the other side or not.
I could go into epic detail about this, but that isn't why I hopped on the computer today to blog this out. What really got me was the one thing I see so often that I have difficulty seeing past...
--> The posts about a "group" of people that someone thinks they know everything about based on biases and assumptions.
🫣 IE: The Facebook Mutuals
In my opinion (and I only speak for myself here), it's incredibly unfair to persecute people for having "mutuals" with someone who is deemed a problem on Facebook. How were we/they supposed to know that person was a problem? Maybe your post is their first instance of seeing that person as a problem. Maybe they don't get on socials much and don't see the problems on the same timeline as you did.
It's rough out here, and I'll live and die by the idea of "most people are good." Most of us are just trying to do our best out here. Adulting is hard. Being an author is hard. Being in the public eye is hard. Working is hard. Surviving is hard. Being happy and content is HARD.
So please don't say, "It's sad/gross that I have 45 mutuals with this person," or "How do I have 45 mutuals with this person? That's 45 people I need to block!" Because that is placing negativity on someone who doesn't deserve it based on one single fact. Maybe they accepted a random friend request four years ago when trying to build their platforms and meet as many people as possible. They couldn't have known that person was a problem, and I highly doubt they are in a group text swapping recipes and hatred, either. Hell, I doubt they even realize they are mutuals in the first place. I swear Facebook only shows me 6-7 people's posts. lol
My suggestion?
Maybe try: "Heads up! So and So is a problem you may not want any part of! Check your mutuals!"
Or another option:
"I'm just bringing this to everyone's attention. Please share so more people can see there is a problem here."
100% of the time, I block problematic people. I just don't have the mental capacity to hold on to anyone that causes issues. Nor do I want to give those issues any thought. That is just who I am, and by no means expect everyone else to do the same.
But that is only if I am made aware of the issue. I could go forever not piecing two and two together because I simply haven't seen anything about the issue. My first time seeing the issue may be the post of someone calling me "gross" because I am a mutual. And that never makes me feel warm and fuzzy. It just feels like that poster is creating MORE problems.
So let's be kind. Give some grace. Don't lump everyone together based on ONE single fact. Be mindful of what you are trying to convey when you post things. I promise that most people are good, and they will respond with the same energy you convey.
LOVE YOU ALL,
MEAN IT,
Katie
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