Do you remember when I said I needed nine new words for the term vagina? Well, I'm here to tell you that it's a lot more serious than that.
Writing romance scenes should be easy, right? Two people are madly in love (or at least madly in like), they stare deeply into each other’s eyes, the music plays, and bam—sexy magic happens.
Except it's not that simple.
When you’re writing it, suddenly, your brain turns off. You're instantly an awkward 13-year-old who just had "The Talk" with their parents. All the words and all the things just stop making sense.
I usually start off strong and full of confidence. I hype myself up and remind myself that "I am a writer! I have read books! I have seen movies! I have two kids! I've had my own sex, plenty of times! I know what to do!"
And then I put words on the page.
Before I know it, my characters are gazing at each other too much. I have used the phrase "smoldering eyes" four times in one paragraph. Someone's hands are "roaming" but, quite frankly, I have no idea where they’re going, and at one point, I realize I have defied the laws of physics. (How is his arm around her waist AND caressing her cheek AND inside her pum-pum? <--- an actual suggestion for my vagina dilemma.)
Oh, it gets worse...
Could you imagine the tiktoks that would be made about me if I said... "He pressed his labial structures to hers?" Ew. How about..."His lips crashed against hers like a thousand burning stars of passion." Sir, calm the fuck down.
And then there’s the dreaded moist debate. Some say it’s OK, others say it should be locked in a vault and never uttered again. Either way, I inevitably descend into a wordhippo.com spiral looking for alternatives for "kiss" and "touch" like my life depends on it. Shit, its so exhausting.
Once I decide on the proper nouns and adjectives, I usually have to deal with the fact that my dog is staring at me as I write. I get self-conscious, dammit. It's like she knows and is judging me for insisting my characters go at it "doggy-style."
At this point, I usually give up and walk away. Why bother when it's all so icky? Yet when I return, by some miracle, I finally get a scene that works. It’s romantic without being cringe, emotional without being melodramatic, and, most importantly, my characters usually sound like real people.
🫣Will I be satisfied with that? No...
🤷🏼♀️Will I close the document and blog about it instead? Probably. ;-)
🧐Will I be in a group text asking my friends for suggestions on words to use instead of "boxers?" Yes...
😑Will Ashton tell me to use "pantaloons"? Also yes.
But I digress...
Fellow writers, what’s your biggest struggle when writing romance? Let’s commiserate together!
Fellow readers, what do you love and hate about a written romance scene? Maybe I'm taking notes.
-Katie
Comentários